Anti-Sports Column

We get it cross country. You guys play a sport, are mildly athletic, and win stuff like, all the time. I for one am sick of all the hype cross country gets. You don’t have to keep throwing your accomplishments in our faces. You guys know that out of every sport in the school, you not only get the most funding but also the most air time on the local news and the local paper and get the most people at your meets. Other sports like football, or basketball, or volleyball are losing out on recognition–and I feel like it’s high time you let them get some of the spotlight.
So you guys run around seven miles a night roughly for two hours straight after school everyday like all year while the rest of us struggle to make it through the sophomore pacer? Big deal. You guys don’t need to be running all over town, down the sidewalks of Main Street while we all sit in our cars watching you feeling slightly terrible about ourselves and our non-existent stamina or jogging in place at the stop lights while we all try to find the motivation to get out of bed and walk to the kitchen to get some food.
Football, for example, runs back and forth for usually 10 yards at a time with two minute breaks in between almost every play and a sub that comes in every other play all for the grand purpose of slamming into each other and potentially killing way too many brain cells. That is exponentially a harder practice than running more than the average American runs per year in approximately one week. That’s only like, slightly extremely impressive guys.

Also what about your constant presence in the school and newspaper? You guys may consistently have the best boys’ and girls’ teams in the state and qualify multiple people yearly for regionals and nationals but hey, what’s so impressive about that? It’s not like you guys are one of the most well-rounded and talented teams in this school or something.
And why is it that the news gives you guys catchy nicknames, like “Trace the Tank”…. oh wait, that’s the football team? Well I mean you guys get the front page in the paper nearly weekly right? Your state finish got you at least a full page article right? It didn’t? I’m confused… didn’t the boys and girls team win best in the state this year?
Are you trying to tell me that the school still pays more attention to what color the students should wear to a football game, and the papers are more focused on how many pounds of muscles the football players gained this summer from weight lifting rather than your incredible accomplishments that are getting us recognized at a national level?
Well, at least you guys get new gear every year… right?

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