Megan’s Awkward Monthly Column

Yes, this is a column about the awkward conundrums that happen in my personal life and the high school.
First question: why is nobody talking about the awkwardness of walking speeds in the halls of Bozeman High?
I don’t know if it’s my inability to walk at a reasonable pace rather than a low key sprint at all times of day, or if it’s truly a normal struggle to get caught behind some very slow walkers during passing periods–but nothing is more awkward and shows more physical incapability then me trying to pass a slow walker in the literal three foot wide hallways of our school.
Like, “hey, what are the chances of you momentarily dropping your swag walk? I’m trying to get to class.”
Nope, instead it results in walking uncomfortably close to those in front of you until they realize you’re the most awkward person that exists and eventually move out of the way as you light jog past them and simultaneously, accidently assault them with your 25 pound backpack, saying “oh my god sorry, I’m just really awkward.”
Not cool.
On the awkward walking topic, let’s admit right now that nothing is more awkward than passing people in the field between the school and junior parking lot.
What type of mental anxiety does each person go through before coming to, “alright screw it, I don’t even care I’m not going to be late in order to save my already non-existent reputation,” and then proceeds to fast walk around the slow people?
Also, how do you even go about passing people in the field? There’s no guidelines or social rules for this process. Like, how big does my half circle around them have to be?

If you’re too close, it’s an awkward space issue and if you’re too far it’s also an awkward space issue. Basically it’s all friggin’ awkward, and our awkward adolescent brains can’t process the fact that it’s not the situation that’s awkward, but it’s us making it awkward.
Everything’s awkward.
Next, waiting for a friend at the beginning of lunch time (who, let’s be honest, is probably walking at a glacial pace). Biggest high school fear even if you’re not ready to admit it: being anywhere in the hallways alone during a time of normal social gathering, meaning lunch time.
“Let’s meet in the annex?” Literally no, I can’t think of a worst choice in fact. What makes you think I want to go awkwardly stand in the middle of a hallway for five minutes surrounded by other awkward people doing the same thing as me? No, thank you.
Well, that’s it, that’s all I got. An awkward ending to an an awkward column, written by an awkward person.

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