Midnight Thoughts, By Ella Cole


Confessions of a Teenage Insomniac

9:30 PM: “I know! I can practice the piano for 20 min, then I’ll brush my teeth, and then pretend to do my AP biology readings,” you smile to yourself. You are already in your sweatpants, and your hair looks like a lion’s. You are very, happy. Your mother reminds you to take your vitamins, and after doing so you skip to your room happily.
When she kindly brings in a mug of tea for you, you immediately chug it. Only after do you realize you’ve burnt your tongue and you probably won’t be able to taste much for the next few days.
The room is a mess: even the friends you had over earlier in the day remarked on how they’ve never known the color of your carpet. Your bed is welcoming you though, so you collapse onto the pile of stuffed animal toys and unnecessary decorative pillows.
10:00 PM: The blankets have finally warmed up and your skin finally adjusts to the temperature of your icebox of a room. This is when you realize…the lights are on. All of them.
At this point you may be slightly enraged at the thought of getting up out of the little cocoon you’ve created. You do it anyway though because you know you’ll never get to sleep with all the lights on. There are many obstacles scattered around your floor and you trip several times over your Algebra II textbook on the way back to bed.
Finally you are settled and the thought of sleep teases you once more.
10:30 PM: You’ve been staring at the ceiling for about 15 minutes now. Your brain is spinning. The curtains aren’t dark enough to hide the blinding moonlight. When you turn onto your side you see something move from across the room. Is something living in your closet? Probably.
You spend about half an hour pondering the possibilities, and decide that the best decision is to hide underneath your covers and make yourself comfortable. Who knows how long you may need to stay hidden?
You start to ponder whether or not toe socks are relevant in life. Perhaps they give meaning to certain people. You disregard this thought. There are too many words in your head, and definitely not enough time in the day or night to think them.

As the hours go on, numerous epiphanies (or rather, observations of a curious and sleep deprived soul) arise:
If I grow up to live on the street, I think I’m OK with it. Also, I’m pretty sure that a yurt would be my dream house.
Animals don’t even need their own language, they have it so figured out.
I’ve got it! I’m going to learn sign language!
I wish I was a ballerina. It doesn’t matter that I’m not graceful or fit, right?
In the event of an apocalypse, I would definitely rock it as a zombie.

Every single thought about every single moment in your day pops into your head–the details of the lunch date you went on, the awkwardness of all those strange hallway interactions–they all begin to vividly play like a movie in your mind.
Soon, the future begins to haunt you and the familiar headache that centers mostly behind your eyes sets in. You turn on a soothing “sleep inducing” song from Pandora and end up finding yourself starting to sob. Everything is just too emotional to handle at this point. Closing your eyes, a dream floats into your head and the sound of a distant train starts to fade out. It doesn’t last for long.
2:00 AM: “WHAT THE HECK AM I SUPPOSED TO WEAR TO SCHOOL TOMORROW???” Also, you never actually did those bio readings.
If these thoughts ever enter your mind, you are either a teenage insomniac or you plain just can’t sleep.


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